Mansplaining – What it teaches us about customer service

Postcards from Rethink Central

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As you can see, I am filming on a terrace in London. As you can’t see, but can intuit, there is a videographer attached to this shoot.

Working with local talent is a wonderful thing. I have another Postcard about how I use videographers all over the world to get these delightful Postcards shot for you.

But here’s a little backstory about mansplaining and what it teaches us about customer service.

I’ve been shooting in London recently, and I contacted a number of potential videographers for the job – and I got a whole bunch of mansplaining back.

What is odd about that is I’m used to working in the London film industry. I’m used to camera guys explaining stuff to me, I’ve run Camera Departments on more than one occasion plus I’ve run Lighting Departments. So, I’m really not the client that needs a basic explanation.

While I appreciate that the person who is mansplaining means well, it takes me a lot of compassion, to be able to say that.

Because what I really want to do whenever someone mansplains to me is hit them over the head with the nearest book. Which, admittedly, is not very useful.

There was one gent in particular, who I had sent off the pitch saying, ‘This is what I need: an exterior shoot, natural light. Can you do it for me?’

He mailed back ‘Yes.’ Then started sending me extra addendum mails to make the shoot better.

Which was him giving customer service.

Except, he went from ‘Yeah, okay, I can do that.’ to, ‘Maybe you don’t want an exterior shoot. Maybe you want an interior shoot. When you say you want natural light, maybe I should bring a tonne of lights.’

So, instead of outside with no lights – he’s now talking inside with lights. This is night and day, almost literally. Not what I asked for and definitely not what I wanted.

And it annoyed me. It REALLY annoyed me.

I found myself angrily typing a huge reply but then I thought ‘No, he means well.’ How was he to know that I used to run a Camera Department on not one, but two or three occasions? How’s he to know I probably know more about film lenses than he will ever learn?

So – deep breath. Pause.

It’s fine. I will be brave. I deleted all of the stuff I had to say to him. I stepped back, took a little walk to the kettle, made myself a tea and then I sat down and I wrote the immortal words that if you ever worked in the film industry, you will know so well.

I looked at his annoying email, and I wrote, ‘Thanks. I’ve decided to go another way.’ – and sent it off. A very polite way of basically telling someone their service is not required, they can leave.

What I’m telling you about and why I’m telling you this story is because that guy meant well.

We all mean well for our customers.

If your client comes to you with an idea that is less than ideal in your opinion, it is your duty to tell them there might be another way to go with it. But do it in terms of the client always thinks their idea is okay.

If I’d come specifically for an interior shoot, it makes sense to talk to me about that. But I was so clear on what I wanted – an exterior shoot, with no lights. ‘That’s not a good idea.’

If that was a client who wanted to do something strategy-wise that wasn’t a great fit, I would say ‘You know, we could do it your way, but I think you’ll get much better results this way.’

If they still insisted on their way of doing it, I would suggest either that they go and work with someone else or that we do that in a very small kind of ‘lab’ system to see if it worked or not.

You can always work WITH your clients.

If you are of a gender where people mansplain to you, you know how annoying it is. If you really try, you also know that people are TRYING to help. But we can do better. 

As business owners, we can do better. We can help better.

I know you would never mansplain to me, and I appreciate that.

So, have a lovely day, enjoy the shot and I’ll speak to you soon.

Next live call is May 9, 2023 - 1pm Eastern / 6pm UK.
Come along to ask your questions about launches, strategies for marketing, Masterminds or whatever you're stuck on in your business.

Add your email below and I'll send you the zoom info for the calls. See you there!

Or come say hello on Instagram here.  I microblog daily.